Q Why don’t we have any “after-parties” or formal dances? (Sydney, 6th)
A Oh, how horribly wrong you are, Sydney. We just had a Valentine’s Dance, but I see your point – that was hardly formal. Then there’s the 8th grade formal at the end of the year, but don’t feel bad – I’ve never been invited to that one, either.

Q Can a sixth grader go to the dance? (Brandon M., 6th)
A I assume you mean the Valentine’s Dance last month. (I really should update these questions more regularly). And since I saw you there, I guess you got the answer to the question. But I had a really good answer lined up for you if you hadn’t. Wanna hear it? “You can dance if you want to. You can leave your friends behind. Because your friends don’t dance, and if they don’t dance, then they’re no friends of mine.”

Q Why do we have to read 2 books each six weeks, when it’s hard to make time for 1? (Kristine, 6th)
A For this, I sat down with the Language Arts teacher on my team, Mrs. Botelho. We figured it out – if you get 30 weekdays and weeknights to read each six weeks, and you have a 150-page book, that’s just five pages a day. You can knock that out during the AR time after lunch. If you have two books to read, that means at some point that night, find 10-15 minutes before or after dinner for that other book. And keep in mind, we calculated these figures not including weekends, during which you could even fit in a third book!

Previous Q&A

Q What do you think about the dress code? (Amy, 8th) Why do we have to have belts? (Brianna, 6th) Why can’t we have different colored belts? (Hailey, 6th) Why do we have to tuck in our shirts? (Lauren, 6th) Why can’t we wear big earrings? How come we can’t roll up our pants? Why can you only have four pockets? Why can’t we have free-dress day?
A Wow. Who knew dress code would be one of your buttons? There’s a huge section on dress code in your student handbook, and the district handbook, and you don’t have to search hard on the internet to find pages and pages of documentation both supporting or decrying it. Some things are obvious – you have to wear belts because this whole fad of wearing your pants around your ankles is just plain wrong on so many levels. As for differently-colored belts, aren't we getting just a little ridiculous here? Does it really bother you that much that you can't wear a multicolored belt that will in no way match your burgundy and wedgewood blue top? You only get four pockets because the more pockets you have, the more you’ll want to fill them with stuff, and the more distracted you’ll get, wondering if you have enough stuff, wondering if the stuff you have in your right pocket belongs in your left, wondering if you have conflicting stuff in the same pocket, wondering what stuff you’ll have in your pockets tomorrow, etc. You tuck in your shirts and unroll your pants because it looks neat and orderly. If you take a little pride in your appearance, it’s easier to take pride in your performance. At least that’s what my mom always told me. The district’s website says the dress code is in place to “teach grooming and hygiene, instill discipline, prevent disruption, avoid safety hazards, and teach respect for authority.” I don’t think anyone reading this has a problem with any of that.
P.S. I went to middle school in San Antonio, just up the road. And we weren’t allowed to wear shorts. And it was 100 degrees, every day, uphill, both ways.

Q Why can’t we dye our hair weird colors?
A Because you’d look weird. I see we’re back to the easy questions.

Q Why do we have S.R.s? - Peyton, 6th grade
A Ah, success reminders. Another sixth-grade phenomenon. You forget your homework? Success reminder. You talk inappropriately? Success reminder. Like a little penalty flag. Collect four, you get a detention. Six, you get a referral. Every six weeks, we wipe your slate. Ask a student upstairs (where they don’t have S.R.s) which policy they’d prefer. From what I've heard, it goes something like this up there: First offense, you get a warning. Second offense, they call your parents. Third offense, you get an office referral and perhaps a day in ISS. And your slate never gets wiped clean.

Q Why do we have ISS? - Sarah, 6th grade
A It’s not that we don’t like you. It’s just that by putting you in ISS, we give you an opportunity to reexamine school-appropriate behaviors. Imagine the classroom as an artery, supplying the free flow of ideas and knowledge from the heart (teacher) to the important body organs (the students). Wait, I’ve lost you. Everyone’s like, “I want to be the spleen! I want to be the spleen!” Okay, be the spleen. My point is, when a student, through action or inaction, disrupts that flow, he or she has to be removed like a blood clot, a chunk of cholesterol, or a Chewbacca action figure that got himself stuck in my ear back in January 1981. Sometimes all that's standing between you and success is your connection to certain classmates and your inability to behave whenever they're around you. We keep you on campus because we still want you to do some school-related work, get a balanced lunch, and listen to afternoon announcements. Everybody wins.

Q Why can’t we hug each other? - Alexis, 6th grade
A Well, I’m married, and y’all are 12. I’m a good 5-10 inches taller than most of you, and to be frank, some of you have a rather unpleasant smell.

Q I mean, why can’t students hug each other? You know, why can’t we make out? - Alexis, 6th grade
A Oh, that. Well, if everyone went around hugging each other, you’d be even more late to class than you already are. Plus, your immune systems aren't fully developed yet and every time you hug somebody, you're hugging everyone THEY've hugged, and chances are one of y'all has some serious germ that's going to get you and your classmates sick and cause a whole lot of absences. And here’s something else - with more than 1,000 students roaming the halls each day, teachers can’t be expected to be able to tell the difference between a hugging and a mugging. We see two people embracing, we don't know if it's for love or milk money. It’s for your own safety. We ask that, while you’re under our charge, you don’t make us try to tell the difference.

Q Why do we only have five minutes at our locker? - Ysatis, 6th grade
A Well, I think we’ve figured out the tardy problem. You see, you only are allowed four minutes at your locker. And four minutes is enough to go to most of your classes, four of which are within 20 feet of each other. Don’t go to your locker after every class, don’t go to the bathroom after every class, and don’t sit and chat with your friends after every class, and you shouldn’t be tardy. On occasion, I have been known to follow habitually tardy students from my class to their next ones, just to see exactly what is making them late. And it is always one of the aforementioned reasons.

Q Why do we have so many teachers? In elementary school, we had one teacher for three subjects. - Alyssa, 6th grade
A By limiting our content area, middle and high school teachers can specialize in a single area. We can expose you to a wide array of topics and dive deeper into them than you’ve ever gone. Plus, it’s good to show you a variety of teaching styles, because we know you have a variety of learning styles.

Q Why can’t we play sports for our school in sixth grade? - Matt, 6th grade
A A good question, with many answers. For one, most of you are too small. Watching you try to make a 10-foot basket would make my eyes burn. Plus, it’s a safety issue. We’re looking out for your physical well-being, and allowing your bodies to mature one more year before putting you on the playing fields and weight rooms. Finally, this is your first year in middle school. First you must prove to us you can make the academic adjustment, and then we allow you into sports. Just relax, play your club soccer, your YMCA, and have fun. Next year, it all changes. Your coaches are no longer the moms and dads of your teammates. They’re professional coaches who devote more time to research, scouting, and practice. And because of all that, they get to yell at you more.

Q Why do we have to go to school?
A The answer is obvious. To learn gooder. I hope all the questions are this easy.

Q Why do we have homework?
A Okay, so you’re going to challenge me. Every day of my life, I try to learn something. By reading, by talking to people, by watching people around me. Education isn’t confined to 56-minute periods. Teachers of social studies, science and language arts like for you to do some work on your own, so that when you come to class, we can have deep, meaningful discussions. If you haven’t done your part at home, you won’t get the full benefit of the class time. You should be thanking us for the homework we assign. I guess math teachers give homework because the more problems you do, the better you get at them. Look at your shoes. Are they tied?  Did you tie them yourself? Hmm… must have taken lots of repetition to learn that skill. You’re welcome.